Snowed in.

People often ask us, after driving up our lumpy bumpy hill, "What do you do when it snows?" Until this weekend, we didn't know.  Now we do.  We stay put and have a whole lot of fun. As the snow day turned into snow days, I started to remember what it was like when we were all home, all the time.  It's a bit of lovely and a lot of circus. It is also, a lot of SOUND! In and around the many cups of hot cocoa, the piles of soggy wet outside clothes (Just toss 'em in the dryer!), the wonderings of "How will we survive?"--Mostly made by my beloved, who isn't sure 'what all that stuff is' in the pantry.  Luckily, I know how to make that stuff (aka ingredients) into food--we have fallen into somewhat of a rhythm... that includes a lot of what we haven't had for a long time:  Down Time.  I had almost forgotten what staying at home feels like.  I haven't done it much since Forest was tiny, and even then, that was short lived.  No ballet, no robotics, no piano recital, no horseriding lessons, no grocery store runs, no classes, no school pick-up or drop off.  Am I bored yet?  Are you kidding?  If we had a never ending supply of TP and fresh veg, I'd be just fine.  But alas, I do not have rows and rows of canned veggies, or a deep freeze stocked with the fruits of the summer (okay, there are still some blueberries in there).  There was time to finish sewing projects, time to make homemade valentines, time to make cookies and bread, pear custard tart and pumpkin pasties.  There was time to learn how to dot-to-dot, time to play with Christmas gifts that got put away in the excitement of all of it.  I cleaned out a desk drawer!  The big kids cleaned their rooms!  I did yoga, and made a snow angel, and we all sledded on our awesome toboggan, which rarely leaves the garage. We made molasses candy on snow, a snow man, and new friends of the new neighbors next door.  There was time to build a castle in the living room, to play more than one board game every day, to get bored and then get out of it.  There was time to build a little of something we have been missing much:  cozy homey family memories.
So, while I'm looking forward to some fresh vegetables, I believe we have benefited from this snow-day mentality, and I hope we can keep it around for longer than the snow stays!

Lollygagging

Today, instead of doing a bunch of errands, Forest and I went for a walk.  We parked in a neighborhood.  He rode his scooter and I walked.  It was a shady walk through the greenspace between two suburban developments.  Much of it was boardwalk.  Because I'm taking doxycyclene for a tick bite I received, I wanted to stay out of the sun, and this was perfect.  At one point, we were standing in the sun and I said, "We can't lollygag in the sun, because I will get a sunburn!"  Forest, a lover of words said, "Oooh, what's lollygagging?"  I told him I would show him once we got back to the shady part.  So when we did, he said, "Now you can lollygag, Mama!  Lollygag!  Lollygag!  Do it!  I want to see it!"  What a funny kid.  I had to think about what active lollygagging really looked like.  I slowed down, looked up at the trees, smiled, danced around a bit, and waved my arms.  He giggled.  So, today, my wellness included lollygagging.  It also included listening to the middle school band with Eleanor and doing my workout when I couldn't sleep.  Now I'm sleepy.  I'm going to go lollygag in bed. 

Wellness colored glasses.

So, I decided to do this wellness thing, and then I started thinking about how I'm usually giving myself a bunch of crap for eating X or not doing Y or whatever.  I am starting back into doula work, and just thinking about working with new mamas again, has reminded me of all the lovely people that helped me when I was a new mama.  One of these people was my postpartum doula.  She had a grand suggestion:  Rather than make a to-do list, in the weeks following the birth of baby #3 in 3 years, at the end of the day, make a list of all the things you did.  Mine would look like this:  Nurse baby, stare at baby, change diapers, read stories to toddlers, make breakfast, nurse baby, unload dishwasher, do a load of laundry, nurse baby, eat a snack, change diapers, go for a walk down the driveway and notice all the new daffodils, nurse baby, make lunch, change diapers, change clothes of toddler who didn't make it to the bathroom, dance around the living room, take baby in the shower with me.... you get the idea.  It was a long list, and it only took about one day for me to see that I was really getting a ton of stuff done, even though I only felt like I was nursing the baby, which, of course, I was doing a lot.  So, right now, instead of focusing on all the crap that I do that may NOT be wellness, I am going to focus on all the wellness things.  Like yesterday:  I did some doula-related research outside in the sunshine while my toddler played--that falls into wellness.  I drank tea and water all day long.  I walked the dog.  I took my supplements.  I practiced gratitude. 
Today was one of the last Nia days for the term.  It was fabulous as usual.  Dancing with those women truly feeds me.  We were focusing on body, mind, spirit and emotion, whichever one needed the most focus.  I realized that my emotions are all over the place.  I'm like Pigpen, except instead of mud or dust or whatever, I am a spazzy ball of emotions, all. the. time.  What?  That must be fun to live with.  Oh, yeah, it's not.  What helps?  What contributes to wellness?  Dancing, breathing, yoga, working out, meditation, drinking water, eating well, enough sleep.  Quieting my brain that wants to knowknowknow nownownow.  Trees and ferns and moss. 
I have also been reading a book by Gay Hendricks called The Big Leap, as suggested by my friend and Nia instructor.  Awesome book.  One of the things he suggests is moving toward Einstein time, taking responsibility for time in our lives.  Never saying, "I don't have enough time, " or other time related excuses or complaints.  So, I'm just going to add that in to what I am doing in June and see how it works.

June: A Month of Wellness

In the interest of inspiring myself to be well in the month of June, and beyond, I am going to attempt posting about my wellness activities here on the blog.  I invite any followers I may have to do the same.
Here's what I did today:

In other Birthday news....

Gus turned 13--on Monday, and I am, thus far, enjoying being a mother of a teenager!
Several times a day, Big Guy says 'Happy Birthday Mama!'  It's everyone's birthday, isn't it?  I usually respond with 'A very merry unbirthday to you!' He sort of gets it.  All the birthday and unbirthday wishes make for a rather festive air around here.
Right at this moment, four big boys are sleeping out in a tent they set up by themselves.  I have a walkie-talkie just in case they need me.  I'm not sure any of them would ever admit to needing me.
I successfully baked and frosted a hobbit-hole gluten and egg free cake.  It actually tasted good, too.
I managed to lock my keys in the car which is not a good thing, but it meant that I had time to actually make the cake instead of taking Eleanor to her piano lesson--which wasn't great for her, either, but she just took it calmly and practiced for that time instead.  What a trooper.
I danced like a crazy mama in Nia today.  It rocked.
Daffodils are blooming!
We facetimed with our friend Jenny yesterday and it was so fun.  We got to show her all of the little things we were doing, many of which were directly inspired by her--Eleanor was playing the piano that Jenny scored for us.  Lucy's daffodil bunting (something Jenny would totally do) was drying on the counter.  I had just made 2 loaves of bread in prep for the influx of hungry boys.  Lucy and forest were reading together on the couch.  Gus and Forest had just finished lining up all the matchbox cars.  Jenny's influence is everywhere in our home, and it's so fun to use technology to share!  Yay

You say it's your Birthday?

Today was Lucy Sky's 10th birthday.  She was very excited about it all week and woke up early to get her 10 kisses.
Many wonderful things happened today:
It was a gorgeous sunny spring day, reminiscent of the day Lucy was born.
Lucy's siblings made her an awesome gift and she loved it.
The kids and I went ice skating, one of Lucy's favorite activities.  Forest loved it, too.
We found the perfect pair of boots for Lucy's next riding adventures.
We ate a fabulous sushi lunch with Robert.
We got to horse-riding early (!) and got to cavort with the horses a little before Lucy's lesson.
Forest took a nap (!)
Lucy successfully took her horse, Chester, through a puddle--not the same as riding on the beach, but interesting, nevertheless.
Eleanor got nibbled on by a huge draft horse named Wyatt.
Friends and family called and wished Lucy a happy day.
We all worked together to make the birthday meal including GF Chai Spice cake with cream cheese frosting, and homemade noodles, Lucy's favorite.
Eleanor started practicing a song that I played on the piano when I was her age.  Oh the memories!
The cat curled up in the lid to the cake keeper (which somehow landed on the floor) I don't necessarily think this is good, but it was funny.
We had a sweet and lovely celebration of the birthday girl!  We're so lucky she came to live with us!
I actually managed to do my workout despite not really wanting to!
It was an excellent day!

And now, to bed!

Life is good.

Life is good and life keeps me completely occupied doing things others than blog posts.  I like writing and updating this blog and I am wanting to move some stagnant energy around in my world.  Doing the gratitude practice in November really helped with that so I think I'm going to do something else called "This is the good that happened today:

Today, I helped two siblings put the finishing touches on a birthday gift for their sister.
We spent a couple hours with friends we haven't seen for a while.
I did my workout. 
I got to scratch my twelve year old's back and head for a little bit tonight.
We solved a chore-related issue with no one getting too frantic.
I learned how the koala lost his tail (Aboriginal tale).
Everyone liked dinner (lasagne and salad)

It was a good day.  I hope you had one too.

Still gonna be grateful....

Today is Nov. 30th, and even though Shannon's 30 Days of Giving Thanks was a November thing, I only really posted on this blog for 12 days (including today).  So, in the interest of seeing the year out with a big gratefulness BANG!  I'm just going to keep blogging about gratitude.  It's getting some good press from friends and fam, and it's in keeping with this season of light, and my idea of what it's all about.  It's also sort of an extension of another friend, Wanita's, project, Random Acts of Gratitude and Generosity, which has been around for several months now, and is responsible for little notebooks in my purse, kitchen and children's bedrooms where we write the things we are grateful for each day.  I have had a gratitude notebook next to my bed for years, ever since I first read Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach, or perhaps before.  I truly feel like feeling gratitude is a step to being the kind of person I truly want to be.

Without further ado,  today I want to express my gratitude for my Aunt Lisa.  

I don't really remember a lot from the days when we lived 'on the farm'.  We moved when I was five, and most of my memories are filled with a sort of nostalgic fuzz.  I remember a lot of feelings--I guess that makes sense, now that I have seen four kiddos grow up under my nose.  The under 5 set is pretty much all about emotions.  They are good feelings, filled with horses and dogs, kitties in Grandpa's barn, swinging on the swingset with my sister.  There was the time I stepped on a bee--it flew into my sandal and I stepped on it.  But all was resolved by having the treat of drinking the juice from the fruit cocktail.  And mixed in with all of these nice, homey memories of Mom, Dad, Molly, baby Tom, Great Grandma, Grandma and Grandpa, are memories of my Aunt Lisa.  My other aunts and uncles are sort of in there, too, but Lisa predominates.  Now that I've heard some of the stories from Lisa herself, I know that she and Aunt Kathy were our babysitters from the time we were tiny babies.  And, that Lisa was my special buddy.  When I look at this picture, I remember.  I remember THAT feeling.
Fast forward 35 years and I can still feel that.  Lisa lives in South Dakota, I haven't seen her since my baby girl was younger than I am in the picture, and yet she is still hugging me from afar.  I'm pretty crappy about keeping in touch with folks, but Lisa has made a point to keep in touch with me, and it is a wonderful thing.  The miles and years melt away when we talk.  Hours pass and we are still yakking away.  I am so grateful that she has been reaching out to me, including me in her embrace, sharing her wisdom about so much.  Thanks for everything, Lisa! 

Grateful for Home

There are so many cliches about home and heart and all that... well, they're all true, aren't they.  At first, it is just a house, or an apartment, or a room in a house or a dorm.  Then, over the weeks and months, it becomes part of you, the place you where you belong, and which you carry around with you.  It smells like you and you like it, for better or worse... You do dishes and laundry there.  If you're us, you get married, have all your babies, and educate them there, too.  In sickness, in health... gosh, I'm a bit attached.  I am grateful for all of these things and more.  I'm grateful for the views out my windows while doing those dishes.  I'm grateful for the sounds of owls, the chatter of squirrels and twitter and zoom of birds that also call this place home.  I'm grateful for warmth and warm water.  I'm grateful for my bed.  I'm grateful for working toilets and drains, and septic tank.  I'm grateful for well water that tastes good and is very plentiful.  I'm grateful for all the machines that make my life easy:  washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, vacuum, furnace, stove, oven, fridge.  And... then there are all the intangibles.  Too numerous, but so important... the thing that makes me say, ahhhh, when I step in the door.... ahh, it's home, we're home.  We can take off our coats and shoes and the layers of whatever it is we put on when we're 'out there' and just be free rangin' crazy naked freaks.  Figuratively, and literally, too.  Sometimes, at least.  So, so grateful for that place to hang my heart and hat, and all the many homes I have had over the years.

Day 20, More Sister Gratitude

Today, and every day, I am so grateful to call Kathy, Robert's sister, a friend.  Right from the start she has always been so kind and loving, and as soon as the nephews and nieces started showing up (bing bing bing..............bing), she has been a most wonderful doting Aunt Kathy.  "Where did you get your nice sweater?  Did someone knit that for you?"  "Yes, my Aunt Kathy!"  These works of art have been sported by my children since they were wee chubby ones, a physical reminder of how much she loves them.  But we don't love Kathy just for her gifts, although she does have a knack for gift-giving.  Kathy has made a real effort to be a part of our life and I am so very grateful for that.  I am also grateful for the incredible example of 'in sickness and in health' that Kathy has been since her husband, Greg, had a stroke a few years back.  I am not sure how gracefully I might handle it if something similar ever happens to Robert, but watching Kathy has provided me with a blueprint of what that can look like.  When Kathy comes to visit, we always have a super time, playing games, doing 'concerts' and 'shows' (she can walk on her hands.), sometimes fabulous outings to beautiful places and ballets, and really nice long visits about life (and helicopters).  She just called the other day to ask if she could bring Robert's elderly aunt for a visit. (Of course!)  I am always impressed with the planning and care she puts into her visits (planning ahead is a forte of hers---->awe.) And we always have a really good time. Thanks for being such a beautiful bright being, Kathy!

Day 19 Gratitude for my Sister

When I was a kid, (you know, back in the olden days, as my kids like to say,) if you would have told me that whenever I thought of my sister, Molly, I would smile... well, I probably would have laughed!  It is true though, and it's not just an outward smile, but a smile that I really feel in my heart.  This woman, my big sis, is such a bright light in my life.  Doesn't she make you smile, just looking at her?  :)  We fought like two cats for most of our time living together.  It was really not pretty.  We did start getting along nearly as soon as she moved out and went to college, though.  And, since then, well, it's been a wonderful thing getting to know her.  Seeing her as a friend has enabled me to see how incredibly strong she is, and I'm not just talking about the biceps that are slightly out of view there, although they are a force to reckon with.  The tenacity that was not so very helpful in an opponent is miraculous in a comrade.  There have been times, for both of us, when the tears have flowed so heavily that the other sister could not make out words... only feelings, on the other end of the phone, and we listen and we cry and we talk until we feel better.  When we stopped fighting, and started listening, we found, much to our surprise, that we actually have a lot in common.  We are very different creatures, but we have found so much that we can share, and it has been a real lesson for me in the rest of my life, to remain open minded about people that I sometimes feel very different from.  I used to have a little sign up in my kitchen, above the sink, when Robert was away in Portland and we were living on Slow Lane.  It said, "WWMD"  What Would Molly Do?  It was a reminder that Molly would finish cleaning up the kitchen before going to bed, and that Molly would go for her morning run to make sure that she let off some steam so that she could be a good mama, and that Molly would not stress out over moving her family 100 miles... since she has moved across the country so many times.
Today and every day I am grateful to have such a loving, caring, inspiring person in my life.  Thanks Mol!

The Lost Weekend... er, not really. Day 10.

So, here it is the 17th.  That seems to mean that I am a bit behind on my gratefulness POSTING.  I posted something on Facebook about having a hard time reconciling the decision to spend less time staring at my computer in my 39th year and the 30 days of gratitude challenge.  So, it is not as if I have not been feeling grateful for the past week.  Oh no.  I have just been FEEEEEEEELING it.  Not posting about it.
We're gonna go all Dr. Who and time travel back to a week ago right now.  I had just seen the Indigo girls.  Then there was:
Day 10:  I am so grateful for my sisters-in-law.  Sally, Jenn and Jaimee.  I got to hang out with Sally and Jaimee quite a little bit last weekend and they are awesome.  Sally, who has been my sister-in-law for the longest, and thus has had to put up with my idiosyncrasies for a couple of decades now, and I, sometimes get into this 'holiday mood' where we plan elaborate celebrations that may or may not actually happen.  By the time I left her house on Saturday evening, we had planned exactly 3 celebrations of light to happen in the next 3 days.  Oh yes, there was to be Martinmas, a trip to the Japanese Garden, and Diwali all packed in there.  Now, to be sure, Monday was a school holiday, and that always makes things a bit easier on our friends and fam who do that schedule every weekday.  Needless to say, I started researching Diwali customs as soon as I got home.  While we did not do lantern walks, or meet at the Japanese garden, we did manage a pretty spiffy Diwali evening at chez Hoesing.  (Don't get us started on the Christmas house plan.... )  Sally is an awesome mama, a yogini extraordinaire, a great cook, a good friend, and a wonderful sister-in-law.  I am so glad to have her in my life and family.
Jenn--It is bad enough living on the opposite side of the country from my brother Pete, but the fact that he married such an awesome woman makes it... well, too dang far.  Thank goodness for Facetime and Skype, which by the way we need to do again soon.  Unlike Phil, who got to sort of grow up with Jenn at Luther, I haven't spent nearly enough time with her, but every time I do, I end up laughing so hard my sides ache.  Funny that--that you can judge a relationship by how much you laugh together.  It's a pretty good gauge, isn't it.  I used to have fits of laughter much more frequently than I do these days... but Jenn's sense of humor rubs me the right way.  I dream of a day when we can live closer to one another, so I can experience that awesomeness more regularly.  I think Jenn cemented her rightful place in my heart when, after Gus was born, she sent me some homemade granola.  I still have the container it came in and think of her fondly every time I rehouse leftovers in it.  She is also the mother of Grant, who the word cute was made for, and I am super grateful for the frequent photo updates of my nephews life.  Thanks for being you Jenn!
Jaimee, the newest addition to the Hoesing fam, and yet somehow, it doesn't seem like that!  When she called me and said she was coming to the Indigo Girls concert I was so excited (yet didn't buy my ticket then, why?) that someone else in my own family is a fan, too.  Sometimes when I'm dorking out on one of my favorite things, it is nice to have someone to do it with!  I'll never forget when I first met Jaimee and it was the night before the BIG DAY for Phil's marching band in his first season in Nampa.  He was a bit nuts, and she just sat down and started gabbing with me and I thought--oh this is the ONE!  :)  It's a little crazy to watch your baby brothers who you have held in your arms grow up and get married, but it stops being crazy when you meet the women they choose and see how lovely they are.  I love talking books with Jaimee, because she teaches kids my kids' ages, and so it's totally cool to have a real teacher to talk to about stuff.  I loved hearing about her trip to London, and am pretty bummed that I didn't see the photos YET!  I love it that she loves to play with the kids and that she said, "Well, they just grow up so fast!" when we asked if she minded being Magic Aunt Jaimee sitting near the kiddos at supper.  She is sweet and wonderful and I am so grateful for her!

Day 9 Grateful for the Indigo Girls

Oh Emily and Amy.  I still remember the first time I heard your sweet harmonies and rockin' guitars.  It was my friend Jim who introduced us, and from then on... you had me.  Your music has figured big in the soundtrack of my life.  I think the first time I saw you was when my bro Tom and I roadtripped to Chicago for Lilith Fair.  Tom was happy to be at a festival with so many beautiful women and so was I.  We saw Sarah Maclachlan, Lisa Loeb, and EmmyLou Harris as well.  And then, there was a whole slew of shows on the pier in Seattle.  It was Emily's birthday around that time, and the shows were always high energy.  We went when I was pregnant with Gus.  We went the next year with Gus as a toddler, my doula and her family, and me in prelabor with Eleanor.  What a way to get a baby out!  Rock and Roll mama!  She was born the next day.  The next year, we went with 2 toddlers!  We made spectacles of ourselves whirling and twirling our little ones, rocking them in slings, holding them on our shoulders and dancing and singing.  We've seen you in Eugene, and also at the Zoo.  We did not go in spring of 2012, because we were busy having a baby that night, one Forest Indigo.  I am always amazed at your honesty, your new songs, your liveliness--and how you rock out! 
You have been role models for me these past 20 years:  doing what you love, standing up for what you believe in, and making such beautiful music.  When I got my guitar, yours (and Bob Dylan's) were the first songs I learned.  When I need a musical old friend, I just go looking for you, and there you are, telling me how it is, and how it's gonna be all right.  When I was far from home, in a land that looked like the surface of the moon, the Baluchistan desert--I belted your hymns out from atop a moving bus.  We have some history, gals, and tonight, YOU ROCKED MY WORLD AGAIN!  Didn't mean to shout, but I just couldn't help it.  Watching and hearing you play with the Portland Symphony Orchestra just brought everything to a new level.  Thank you for keepin me singing and daincing!

Day 8 A day Late. Grateful for the Hoesing Bros.

Yesterday was a busy day filled with lessons, some sniffles and meeting up with my two of my brothers for dinner.  Wow! I love my brothers, all three of them.  They were so fun to grow and learn with, and they still are.  I remember the days well that each was brought home from the hospital, and how exciting it was to hold their tiny hands and be trusted to rock them.   It's hard to believe those little babies are strapping men who I still call my little brothers, although they have towered over me for years.  I have watched them grow and change, and do amazing things such as finding lovely life partners who I feel privileged to call my sisters, get and keep hard jobs and projects that would scare the crap out of me, move across country, travel to Africa and get a PhD, become fathers and husbands and some of the greatest men I know.  I am so lucky to be their big sis.

Day 6 :: Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto.

 Today I am thankful for my sweet husband, Robert.

Thirteen years ago today we made it legal... but our love story started long before that.  Some of you know it, some of you don't.  It has been a fun adventure so far--such an unlikely beginning for two kids from the midwest, and here we are nearly 20 years later, still in love, still having fun.  Sweet Robert: I'm so grateful you didn't give up--even when I said goodbye and left the country, twice.  I'm so glad I didn't listen to the naysayers who wondered if 20 years was too big a gap in age between us.  What does anyone know of the age of two hearts that found each other across space and time?  Nada.  Thanks for making me laugh daily.  Thanks for our kids, and for being a rockin' awesome Dad to them, right from the start--even through all the surprises!  Thanks for working hard so we can have a sweet life.  Thanks for juggling, and doing dishes.  Thanks for being romatic, even still.  Thanks for being a Peace Dude. Thanks for your love.

Days 4 and 5--So grateful for my kiddos!

I have spent the last two days largely away from my computer.  I did look up a recipe for salsa verde tonight, and Lucy Sky helped to make it.  In this, my 39th year of life, I am consciously trying to spend less time in front of a screen, and more time enjoying the abundant beautiful world around me.  It is a challenge!  One of the biggest reasons I want to get my head out of my computer is to enjoy the amazing folks I spend most of my time with:  my children.  I am so incredibly grateful to be a mother to these four lovely beings.  Tonight, while the youngest took over an hour to fall asleep, I found myself becoming impatient, wanting to 'go do my stuff':  my yoga, my blog post, my meditation, my down time.  Then he reminded me, by saying, 'Can you sing me just one more song mama, about a dump truck?' that lying there with him, helping him to surrender the day, IS my stuff, my yoga and my meditation... and who cares about blog posts!  So I just relaxed into breathing and being, and soon, he was asleep.

I am famous in some circles for saying, "I don't really think having a baby will change my life much."  I get reminded of that statement periodically.  How funny it is to think that I ever thought that--and enough to say it out loud!  Having these four babies has changed my life, my body, my heart, my very being.  Just yesterday I read a quote by a famous actress who didn't believe it when people told her she looked 'glowing' when she was pregnant, that she really looked like a whale and everyone was afraid to tell her.  Too bad for her that she didn't feel glowing--I sure did.  Being pregnant taught me to love my body in a way that I never had before.  What a miracle!  Giving birth to these children taught me to trust my body in a way I never had before.  Being their mother--well, that sure gives me pause and makes me question everything and challenges my integrity daily.

They are growing so very quickly.  We are on the verge of big changes for the big three, and in the midst of big changes for the little.  It boggles my mind to think how fast they have grown and how much we have all learned together in this time.  I marvel at the thought of all there is left to learn with them and from them. 

I am grateful for learning how to be calm when a baby is screaming.  I am grateful for learning how it feels to be needed 24/7 by another human being.  I am grateful for the gift of breastfeeding.  I am grateful to have been able to stay home and watch and participate in nearly all of this growing up.  I am grateful for the opportunity to see four people learn how to walk, talk, read, write and do so many more things.  I am grateful for all of the handwritten love notes, cards and home made birthday gifts--including this years:  a beautiful necklace and bracelet, and a homemade flashlight!  I am grateful for all of the times when they have forgiven me for being less wonderful than I would like.  I am grateful for the chance to do things better the next time.  I am grateful for the embodiment of joy and fun and spirit that they are.  I am grateful that my heart grows more full each day!  I am grateful for you, Gus, Eleanor, Lucy Sky and Forest!

day 3: Gratitude for the Dad.

Today I am grateful for my Dad

I can't sleep because I realized I hadn't posted my day 3 gratitude.   I have been thinking lately about how you used to come home and play checkers with us.  "King me!"  And, I was really thinking about you this summer when I tried to play baseball with my kiddos.  We really are not very good, but it was a fun experience anyway, and reminded me of walking down to the park to play on Sunday afternoon in Madison.  I was just as clueless then, but at least YOU knew what you were doing!  You are a great example of hard work, and even if we often have different opinions about stuff, you have a way of letting me be me.  Thanks for all that you do, Dad!  Here is a poem I once wrote for you:

When Dad comes home carrying a big lug,

I always like to give him a great big hug.

I wish that we lived a bit closer so I could give you a hug more often!  

day 2 : : Thanks Mom!

day two:  thirty days of giving thanks!

 

 Today I am thankful for my MOM!  On Nov 2, 1974, she did some very hard work and I was born!  She then proceeded to do so very much more, there aren't enough different ways of saying Thanks to cover even a fraction.  Mom, I think about you every day, many times a day and send silent gratitude to you and all that you are.  You taught me so many things, inspired the love of so much.  Especially on my BIRTH day, I like to thank you for standing up for what you knew to be true:  that your body worked well and that you could give birth naturally.  You can credit Johnny Rogers and his 98 yard touchdown for the Huskers, but I know better--it was YOU who gave birth to me, not him!  Having that as a beginning--well, it was just the beginning of a life of being a nature girl, I suppose!  Here we are on one of our Saturday rambles at Stone Park.  Good Times!

Thanks Beth!

30 Days of Thanks!

Thanks!  Today I am so grateful for my Nia teacher, Beth Noelle, who through her crazy sexy fun classes has inspired me to be more fully in my body and also reminded me that I LOVE TO DANCE!  Oh yes.  And my hips--well they are very audacious!
Sometimes in this life of mothering, I feel like a taxi driver.  Dancing reminds me that I am a moveable object--no, that I am a spirit having a human experience.   Having a place and a time to dance means that I dance more without a place and time.  My body loves me for it, my spirit, well she's on fire when she's dancing.  It is awesome to be in a room full of women and girls who are loving moving and at least at some points, dancing as if no none is watching!  :)

do-over.

It's late, and I should be sleeping, but I am not.  This is often the truth, lately.  I am stealing moments of solitude and quiet after everyone goes to sleep.  Stealing them from myself, because of my real need for sleep. 
Tonight, I'm wondering how other families do it, and whether or not that matters for us.  The 'it' tonight is regrouping after a fallout between siblings, or family members.  Tomorrow IS another day, with no mistakes in it, yes.  But, sometimes we get in these ruts of reaction, and the next time a little bump comes in the road... how will we do it differently?  Do we just forge down the path some more making mistakes, forgiving each other, only to bash again, like two billy-goats, the next time our feathers are ruffled... yes, I know mixing metaphors. 
Seriously, though... I could spend hours trolling the net, luxuriating in gorgeous photos of perfect lives, handmade, homemade, and thrifted.  What I really want to know is--what helps you and your family out of self-created ick.