So, the rest of the troupe was wondering if I ever take photos of them anymore. In particular Mr. Gus. Wham... that's enough to make me step back and check out my parenting. Yes I still love my biggies, when there is a little--I just get caught up in the little one, since he is in my arms constantly (although he did take his first stroller ride.... that's for another post). Then, suddenly I catch a glimpse of the big kid standing next to the bookshelf, and lo and behold, he can reach the top shelf without even stretching. The former little can get a glass down from the cupboard without a stool or jumping up on the counter (my fave tactic). Hair gets brushed by its owner. A room which was formerly hard to walk through on a good day stays tidy for weeks on end, "so that I can find stuff!" And yet, and yet.... the snuggles happen less often and the story is sometimes cut short or traded for everyone reading out of his or her own book before bed, owies are mended by bandaids and salve--no kisses needed. I am caught in the act of staring at all of my children who are growing and transforming before my very eyes--and sometimes behind my back--and not just the infant! I have to remind myself each day to slow down, make the moments last and feel groovy, because in a few more short years--fewer than I've been a parent already, they will be off on their own adventures. I am their mother and I went on many many adventures before I had them. I am raising them to be adventurous and hope that everything that we do together will prepare them for the time when we are no longer together. I don't know what will prepare me for that same eventuality, but it is out there and I would rather not rush towards it at the speed of light---I'd rather slow down to the speed of love, where there is time for hugs and snuggles, kisses and stories, hand holding and lap sitting, even if I am tired and sore from holding and feeding their little brother--I must make time for these things before they are not needed or wanted.
Yeah, I have pictures of them, but not any real good ones. I know what my weekend will have in it. Now if they would just come home from their friends houses!
4 comments:
sigh...beautiful sarah. you are an awesome mama, incredibly inspiring, kind and loving. ;)
One more thing that's changed--your post was at 11:00AM!!! and I'm sorry to say that there is nothing that can prepare you for when they all go away. Enjoy every single minute...
My, my... judging from this comment page, you have lots of "kats" who think you are a special mom. I LOVE the beautiful photo of Gus at the top of the blog this month. And, the one of him and Forest is definitely one to keep forever. So funny! Sarah, your love of your children is, indeed inspiring... as is your writing.
ahhh sarah---i regret to say that i dont always read your blog, but today when i saw your post on fb i had time to click on it and this post made me cry. my jackson is getting so big and sweet anika seems to be growing faster than jackson did...and i try try try to sieze ever day and make smart decisions about my time at every turn so i can maximize who i am both as a person and a mama but still---it goes fast. i dont want to fritter away any of the precious time by thinking about time, so...i try to just stay centered and keep it moving. i dont want to waste time taking pictures, i want to be present, but then i dont have any pictures to remember the things i think i wont forget but inevitably i do. alas...thanks for this. i love you.
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