Saturday, March 26, 2011

Ladies: At Home

(me: at home new hair photo taken through computer's camera....)

I have just returned from a 'Ladies At Home', a gathering of women at my neighbor's home. One of the other guests said that an 'At Home' was something the ladies of Cincinnati held in the early part of the previous century. How delightful it always is to be in the company of women, many of whom are friends, and others who seem very much to be kindred spirits. The conversation was in turns interesting, hilarious, educational, raunchy, nostalgic, sad, touching, sweet and revealing. We were without our men and children, and yet, of course, they entered into those conversations often. Several of us are dealing with some really harsh, hard stuff. What a comfort to sit among these women and laugh, cry and share stories and a meal. And I ask myself--why do we not do it each Saturday??? Oh, we are busy and it would just be one more thing to add into our weekends which are often the only family time that we have. Seriously, though, my mental and emotional health just got a big boost tonight from being among my women friends. I feel like encouraging all the women I know to host or be a part of an 'At Home' evening with friends.
My sister recently told me that she has been chosen to be part of National Women's Health week. She says she's going to ask for my help, too. Between talking to her about that, and the women tonight, and a dear old friend on the phone yesterday, and another newer but just as dear friend today, I really see that having and being friends to our women friends is what keeps us going, what keeps us from going insane, and what really, ultimately, makes the world go round.
Not cheese... women.
Yup, you heard it here. I was not drinking tonight, those some were, and yet, I still feel a sense of euphoria often associated with chemical alteration. We are so powerful together. My neighbor has a book of women's song with lovely photos of women--suffragettes, beautiful hippie songstresses. I bet she was thinking we might sing some of those songs, which would have been nice, but I enjoyed just perusing the book and checking out lyrics and photos, remembering my Women And Radical Social Movement class at UCSC taught by Marge Frantz, and the feeling of being in the lecture hall with so many young, vibrant women.
Somewhere in the noise and confusion of being a mother, I think I sometimes forget about the power of women together, how healing it is to just sit in a room with a bunch of women. I have other thoughts about mothering, feminism, freedom and liberation, but they're going to have to wait for a night that's not so late, when I can rub two thoughts together to make fire.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

One whole year.

Totally unbelievable how time flies when there is a baby. I can't believe you're one, sweet Forest! You have made our lives better in so many ways. You wake up happy, and we start our days with smiles. You make us laugh with the funny things you do. Your curiosity is insatiable, and reminds us to be curious all over again. We are so lucky to have you in our family!

Friday, March 11, 2011

when you came into my life, i became a mother.

It's hard now to imagine not being a mama. I remember how excited I was to meet you, how amazed I was that my body could grow another whole human, not to mention birthing one! I also remember being scared, of messing it all up, of not being strong enough, of doing the wrong thing. I have done all of those things, and you still teach me more each day how to be strong, and recover and learn from my mistakes. You offer hugs when I you know I need them. You tell me jokes whenever you think of them. You create and build and explore and experiment and I still feel so lucky to be your mama. Happy Birthday, Gus!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011


Eight years ago right now we were lost in baby bliss land with a brand new Lucy Sky in our arms. Oh she was sweet and precious and pink and wonderful. Just look at her. She has made our lives so rich these eight years with her sense of humor and her sweet smiles, her signature heart notes and "I love you" tripping off her lips all the time. In the whirlwind that was 3 kids in 3 years she sometimes got lost in the shuffle, as did they all, but she found ways of making herself known, heard and loved. She is so grown up now, so capable of so many things, and yet still wants snuggles just as she did when she was wee. She is an amazing big sister to her little brother, and an amazing little sister to her big siblings and we love her more every day. Thanks for coming to live with us, Lucy Sky!