Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Days 4 and 5--So grateful for my kiddos!

I have spent the last two days largely away from my computer.  I did look up a recipe for salsa verde tonight, and Lucy Sky helped to make it.  In this, my 39th year of life, I am consciously trying to spend less time in front of a screen, and more time enjoying the abundant beautiful world around me.  It is a challenge!  One of the biggest reasons I want to get my head out of my computer is to enjoy the amazing folks I spend most of my time with:  my children.  I am so incredibly grateful to be a mother to these four lovely beings.  Tonight, while the youngest took over an hour to fall asleep, I found myself becoming impatient, wanting to 'go do my stuff':  my yoga, my blog post, my meditation, my down time.  Then he reminded me, by saying, 'Can you sing me just one more song mama, about a dump truck?' that lying there with him, helping him to surrender the day, IS my stuff, my yoga and my meditation... and who cares about blog posts!  So I just relaxed into breathing and being, and soon, he was asleep.

I am famous in some circles for saying, "I don't really think having a baby will change my life much."  I get reminded of that statement periodically.  How funny it is to think that I ever thought that--and enough to say it out loud!  Having these four babies has changed my life, my body, my heart, my very being.  Just yesterday I read a quote by a famous actress who didn't believe it when people told her she looked 'glowing' when she was pregnant, that she really looked like a whale and everyone was afraid to tell her.  Too bad for her that she didn't feel glowing--I sure did.  Being pregnant taught me to love my body in a way that I never had before.  What a miracle!  Giving birth to these children taught me to trust my body in a way I never had before.  Being their mother--well, that sure gives me pause and makes me question everything and challenges my integrity daily.

They are growing so very quickly.  We are on the verge of big changes for the big three, and in the midst of big changes for the little.  It boggles my mind to think how fast they have grown and how much we have all learned together in this time.  I marvel at the thought of all there is left to learn with them and from them. 

I am grateful for learning how to be calm when a baby is screaming.  I am grateful for learning how it feels to be needed 24/7 by another human being.  I am grateful for the gift of breastfeeding.  I am grateful to have been able to stay home and watch and participate in nearly all of this growing up.  I am grateful for the opportunity to see four people learn how to walk, talk, read, write and do so many more things.  I am grateful for all of the handwritten love notes, cards and home made birthday gifts--including this years:  a beautiful necklace and bracelet, and a homemade flashlight!  I am grateful for all of the times when they have forgiven me for being less wonderful than I would like.  I am grateful for the chance to do things better the next time.  I am grateful for the embodiment of joy and fun and spirit that they are.  I am grateful that my heart grows more full each day!  I am grateful for you, Gus, Eleanor, Lucy Sky and Forest!

1 comment:

Kathy P. said...

What a beautiful photo of my precious nieces and nephews. I am so grateful for each and every one of them, too. Thank you for posting your thoughts, Sarah; the other good mom's can all relate. No doubt, I will be singing about dump trucks today :-)